Sunday, August 23, 2015

Is My Spouse Really In Recovery?

#1 for me is the fear of my husband returning to his addiction.  Every character weakness, every behavior, every anniversary of the discovery date, everything that is in some way a reminder seems to breathe new breath into this fear.  I don’t want it.  It feels very heavy for me to carry.  I want to be able to lay this down at the feet of my Savior and experience joy in my life.  

I have recently heard the following questions and concerns:

“My husband confessed his addiction to me but won’t talk to me about it.  He gets defensive any time I bring it up.  Do you think it is a problem?”

“My husband gets calls on his phone that he doesn’t want seen.  Do you think that I should confront him about it?”

“He doesn’t give me access to his phone.”

“My husband changes passwords without telling me.”

“My husband won’t give me passwords or access to all of our financial records.”

“He quickly turns off his phone or computer when I come in the room.” 

I asked my husband, recovering porn addict, what his take on this and others and here is what he said:

“These are all red flags.  In my opinion these men are not in recovery.  If an individual is in active recovery they will not have any problem talking about it.  It isn’t the most comfortable thing, but it is what the situation is now.  The addict needs to have his spouse on his side.  They need to talk openly and often about it.  An addict in recovery will not have anything to hide.” 

Something that has been key in lifting my load is my being willing to let someone else help.  Support in recovery is a very important step.  My feeling is that as the spouse, I have been doing most things alone, parenting, day to day activities, etc.  It is hard and it is heavy, but it is not something that needs to or should be done alone.  The hope is that our spouse will choose recovery and become an active participant not only in his life, but back in our lives and the lives of our children.  But he has to work on his healing first and the reality is that he may not choose recovery.  Still, in this situation we are not alone. 

LDS Family Services outlined the following for the addict and for family members in need of support called Support in Recovery (found under "other resources" on this blog): 

Heavenly Father, the Savior, and the Holy Ghost are our greatest sources of support. Recovery and healing are made possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. In addition the Lord often works through men and women to bless the lives of His children. All who participate in the addiction recovery program find that they are following the Lord’s counsel to “be faithful . . . succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D&C 81:5).  

As addicts work to apply the 12 steps of recovery, seeking necessary support from others, they will benefit from the sources listed below.  

1.        Recovery meetings provide support in a group setting. Participants include LDS Family Service missionaries, facilitators experienced in recovery, and others who are practicing recovery principles. In these meetings, newcomers hear participants describe how they apply recovery principles and practices in daily living. The sharing of personal recovery experiences encourages action toward recovery and fosters hope that recovery is obtainable. Every person attending recovery support group meetings is tangible evidence that this process leads to freedom from the bondage of addiction and to a happier way of life.  

2.        A support person, experienced in 12-step recovery, is especially qualified to help because of their own emergence from denial and self-deception. This emergence enables them to recognize the dishonesty that traps others affected by addiction. A support person helps those in recovery put their “lives into perspective and avoid exaggerating or minimizing [their] accountability” (Guide, 29). Both the giver and receiver of support are blessed with growth in their own recovery. This reciprocal opportunity to give and receive support is one of the core benefits of participating in the Addiction Recovery Program and is powerful in preventing relapse.  

3.        Ecclesiastical support in the process of recovery is essential.  “[We] should not be reluctant to encourage [the addict] to turn to the Lord’s authorized servants” (Guide, 71). Never forget or underestimate the power of ecclesiastical stewardship. “While only the Lord can forgive sins, these priesthood leaders (Bishops and Stake and Mission Presidents) play a critical role in the process of [healing and] repentance” (True to the Faith, 134). 

4.        Family members can most effectively be a source of support by offering love and acceptance, and by applying the same 12 steps to their own lives.  “Virtually everyone living in these perilous times [will] benefit by learning and applying gospel principles” as outlined in the Guide (Guide, 71).  On a cautionary note, disclosures of personal inventories are not shared with immediate family members or anybody who might be adversely affected by hearing it. 

5.       Professional counselors are often sources of insight and perspective when dealing with addiction.  When selecting professional help, it is important to select someone who is supportive of gospel principles as well as 12-step recovery. 

Participants will have different starting points when seeking support in recovery from addiction. Regardless of the way they start, as they attend recovery support meetings, participants are blessed to be in an environment where the seed of recovery can be planted in their hearts. 

In our experience we did all 5.  It was very important for us to do all 5 and continue to do them.  18 month minimum is the recommendation for counseling.  We were in counseling for 2 years and would continue to be in it if we were still in Ohio.  Participating in these weekly emails, virtually attending the meetings (I try to attend the Ohio group via Skype when I can) and doing my blog have been very helpful in lightening my load. 

I had a wonderful visit with my Branch President today in which he reminded me of some valuable advice given to me from my past Stake President, “Trust but verify”.  Trust will come, but it should not be forced and we should not feel bad because we do not have that yet.  It is earned and it is not all at once.  It will begin small and as it is nourished (verified) it will grow and continue to grow.  I told my husband that trust in the beginning of our marriage was a free gift.  Discovering his addiction shattered it.  It did not even exist any more.  Slowly it is coming, but it is coming, and I am verifying with him and not in secret.  If I look on his phone, I tell him.  If I read his emails, I tell him.  In the past he would have been furious, but now he sees it as a protection for him and for me and says, “It is just fine for you to read them, I don’t have anything to hide and it feels good not to have anything to hide.”
 
The website "Covenant Eyes" has a helpful post called:
 
Trust but verify.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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