I have the privilege to have you, dear friends, who are examples of “what is strong
already”. Brave women, honest women, honorable women, great
mothers, witnesses of Christ, amazing teachers, and just all in all, the example
of what it means to be daughters of God. So when you start in this journey,
“strong already”, and if “everything nourishes”’ how
can something this life altering and devastating be nourishing? Was Jane Austin
up in the night, had no idea what she was talking about, or was she on to
something? I believe she was on to something. (Not ON something, which would be
a whole other issue.) ;)
So often in this process I do not feel strong AT ALL or that I ever was. As individuals whose lives have been affected by someone with a sex addiction, we have to give ourselves credit for what our lives were before and who we really are. There was a lot of unknown preparation that we were going through for this moment. Our minds were being prepared to handle what was coming, our bodies were being prepared to withstand the strain and our hearts were being prepared to learn to forgive. We are stronger than we think.
The Oxford Dictionary
defines “nourishing” as this: “Containing substances necessary for growth,
health, and good condition.”
I often recognize that I am growing in ways that
I never had before. I am learning and understanding things that I just didn’t
before. My eyes have been opened to see things that I did not have the capacity
to see and I am very grateful. My gratitude is increasing and I am becoming
less judgmental. I didn’t think I was judgmental at all before this...but I
believe I frequently mention how wrong I was in that. Going through adversity
is providing me with substances necessary for my growth, my spiritual health and
my condition...which I hope is good.
Russell M. Nelson said, “When we realize that
we are children of the covenant, we know who we are and what
God expects of us. His law is written in our hearts. He is our God and we are
His people. Committed children of the covenant remain steadfast, even in the
midst of adversity. When that doctrine is deeply implanted in our hearts, even
the sting of death is soothed and our spiritual stamina is strengthened.”
Ensign, November 2011
One of the fundamental issues that our addicted
loved one has is they do not know who they are. They do not know that they are
a precious child of God with the ability to change, repent and return. In Ohio
there has been a stretch of very dry weather. I returned from China to find my
beautiful Hydrangeas on the verge of loss. Brown flowers, droopy leaves, and
shriveled stalks. Last night I stood with the hose and watered them. I
observed something interesting. When water is put onto a plant where the ground
is very dry, it does not absorb the moisture right away, in fact it allows it to
run off, the very life giving water it allows to run away from the roots. So the first watering doesn't do much. But when the
ground is moist already (strong already) the plant ground
absorbs more water and delivers it right to the roots. I wish I had taken a
before and after picture of my plants. I was astonished that by the time I had
finished watering, these plants were already standing stronger, leaves fuller,
not drooping as much and were healing. This morning I walked out to these
plants and was even more amazed at how much they had come back. There are
dead flowers, but they will be trimmed and new flowers, new growth will replace them. The Lord
gives us many opportunities to learn about ourselves through nature, and this
was one for me. We have the ability to return, recover, heal, and experience
new growth and beauty. Then what makes us strong is daily, constant
nourishment. Through this WE KNOW WHO WE ARE and we can stand beautifully! Our
loved ones have the same chance too.
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