I often speak about Surrender. Before the Spouse and Family Support manual was published the only manual I had was the same one that was for the addicts. Those same principles, same steps resonated with me. That manual has also changed, but the principles remain the same.
Step 3 in the addict's manual is: Decide to Turn Our Wills and Our Lives Over to the Care of God, The Eternal Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ. This is the principle of Surrender. At first I didn't understand at all why I needed to surrender. Shouldn't that be my spouse? It is HIS addiction. Not MINE. The Serenity prayer is said in AA, SA, SAnon and SAL meetings. I remember seeing the first portion of this hanging on the wall of my grandmother's kitchen.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
I want to have that SERENITY. But to achieve that I must learn to SURRENDER. I had to learn that surrender does not mean giving up. It is allowing my Savior to direct my life.
In the Healing Through the Savior, The Addiction Recovery Program 12-Step Recovery Guide it says:
God grants us serenity when we trust in His ability to help us. We accept that although we cannot control the choices and actions of others, we can decide how we will act in each situation we face. We courageously decide to trust our Father in Heaven and act according to His will. We turn our wills and lives over to His care. We decide to obey Him and keep His commandments.
HIS CARE. That's what I want to be in. His care. I know I will be safe there and one of the ways to be there is to stop focusing on my own will. My own belief of how things should be. Be still and watch and listen.
Elder David A. Bednar spoke a lot about this in an article Accepting the Lord's Will and Timing. He said, "Strong faith in the Savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives—even if the outcome is not what we hoped for or wanted....Many of the lessons we are to learn in mortality can be received only through the things we experience and sometimes suffer. And God expects and trusts us to face temporary mortal adversity with His help so we can learn what we need to learn and ultimately become what we are to become in eternity."
One step at a time. Surrendering one thought, one action, one belief, one fear, one hurt, one portion of our anxious load...one piece at a time. That's all we're asked. Not the whole thing at once. One step at a time.
