It's OK to Start Again

I love that we just had Daylight Savings and this one is my favorite that gives me an opportunity to start over with my goal of getting up early and exercising.  I haven't taken advantage of it...yet.  ;)  I have a new goal to start that this week. :)  There is the blessing.  If I missed an opportunity, for whatever reason, I can start again.  I have many reasons, obstacle and excuses that I give myself not to start something that is good for me, and still I have that same blessing, I can start again.

I found a cute little note today written in innocent days of childhood by one of my daughters to another.  She had taken something belonging to the other and instead of returning it there was some back and forth retaliation and hurt feelings.  The little note said, "I am sorry I took your dress.  It is back in your closet.  I am sorry I changed the songs on your ipod.  You also reminded me to tell you never to give anything to me ever again.  I hope you will forgive me.  If you do, please write it on this note or tell me."  My assumption is that forgiveness was given, even though it was not written on the note, but what I heard in this message was fear of confession and forgiveness. 

One of the things that keeps me from starting something is fear. Step 1 in the LDS ARP Spouse and Family Support guide talks all about this.  Our fears are real, but they may not be true.  The difference is that fear is a feeling, not an action or an event.   I had a real fear that Jeff would not choose recovery at all.  I feared that I could not recover and that our marriage was not recoverable and didn't want to "waste any time" in something that wouldn't happen.  I have a real fear that my husband will return to his addiction, or already has.  To this point (and I say to this point because recovery is an everyday thing) he has not, so even though the fear is there, the action or event is not.  Everyday I progress in learning to trust Jeff and recognize that it is ok that I am not there yet, but I am heading in that direction.

Fear keeps us from the seemingly out of reach healing.  Fear has been a powerful motivator for me, but not in a good way.  We can face our fears, we can take the power away from the events, we can replace fear with faith.  Elder Russell M. Nelson taught this in a talk in 2014 Face the Future with Faith and Hope "As we think about the future, we should be filled with faith and hope. Always remember that Jesus Christ—the Creator of the universe, the architect of our salvation, and the head of this Church—is in control. He will not permit His work to fail. He will be victorious over all darkness and evil."

The hope is there for our loved one to recover.  The hope is there for us to receive the healing powers in our lives.  The hope is there for us to recover.  All of this is because our hope is in Christ and He is real.

I am so very grateful for each of you that take time to read my ramblings here. :)  I know without a doubt that the Lord knows what our days have been and He knows what they will be.  He has provided us with many helps to give us assistance in our healing along this journey.  I invite you to participate in one of these as soon as you can!  I cannot say enough good about support groups.  They have been a lifesaver in my life.  You can go to lds.org to find a 12 step ARP support group, or just CLICK HERE.  You can go to https://thearborkalamazoo.com/ to find great resources and meetings that use Healing Through Christ or just CLICK HERE.   

There are so very many resources, so if you feel that you don't know where to start or that nothing has worked yet, don't forget that it is ok to try again. :)  You can always contact me too.  There really is hope, my friend.