Do I hear better in the darkness?

I just want to share an "ah ha" moment that I had today and preserve it here so that I can refer to it again.  Not sure if anyone actually reads this blog, which is fine.  It is just very therapeutic for me to write here.  AND my memory is so horrible that it is nice to be able to come here and remember thoughts that I had.  BUT...if you are reading this...thank you!  It is nice not to be alone in this journey. ;)

I took on the challenge of President Ballard to read 3 Nephi with the intent of looking for all forms of "ministering" and to find the times "one by one" is used.  I found a sermon to myself here that I have overlooked for years.  

In chapter 9 of 3 Nephi Christ has died, there was great destruction and the 3 days of darkness.  Now, in the 3 days of darkness Christ talks to the people 2 times.  Interestingly, they heard and understood Him both times.  BUT after the darkness, when they are back in the light, when they are going about returning to their lives and some time has passed they could not understand His voice.  We don't know if it was a day, a week, a month or several months after the darkness, but we do know it was within the same 34th year.  My assumption is that it wasn't too long.  The point is that when they were in the very depths of despair, in the deep darkness, they heard and understood His voice.  They were humbled beyond what they had ever been before and they heard Him.  Once they started back into recovery in the light it took more for them to hear Him.  They knew there was a voice, but did not understand it.  In fact, it wasn't until the third time that they understood the voice.  

WOW!  This was completely eye opening for me!  I have totally been here!  In the depths of hurt and pain, I can hear Him and completely rely on Him.  But when I get going in my "natural man" life, no matter how small, I am not "relying wholly on the merits of him who is mighty to save".  2 Nephi 31:19  I let myself get distracted by other things that are out in the light.  Even if I am going to church every Sunday, even if I am doing my calling, even if I am going to the temple, but as I do those things more "wholly" and rely on Him more "wholly" I can hear His voice in the light just as I did in the darkness.

When He first spoke to the Nephites as they were in the darkness, He told them about all of the destruction that was done and the reason.  Then he told these people that they were spared because they were the "more righteous" part of the people.  He didn't say they were perfect or that they had to stop trying.  He said they were better than the ones that stoned the prophets.  Then he said to them,

"will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you? 14 Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me.” 3 Nephi 9:13-14

He is not calling the perfect to Him.  He is calling me.  The sinner who is trying and who desires to be healed. He is reaching out to us and He will not exclude one, not one who will come.  No matter what we have done.  The job is for us to reach out to that extended hand, grab it, and come unto our Savior in every word we speak, in every action we do, in every thought we process, in every feeling we have.  We will not make it to that perfected level in this life, but that is ok.  Our job is to keep trying, no matter if our world has just been destroyed, just like these Nephites. 

End of sermon ;)  Now I have to get busy living it. :)