The Unfinished Tower

Yesterday I attended a funeral where my bishop shared a tiny parable that I wasn't familiar with.  It is that of the "unfinished tower".  In Luke 14:28-30 is where to find this parable.  I am going to paraphrase, but, please check the reference because the source is always better than me. ;)

So a person sets out to build a tower, carefully considers what it will take, the materials and the effort, and counts the cost and assesses if they have the means to do this.  Then they begin to build this tower, fully believing that they can do it, and in the process - for whatever reason - is not able to finish it and everyone around them says something to the effect of, "well, I knew you couldn't do it anyway". 

As I read and re-read this little parable I could see myself trying to build that tower.  I remember the moment, after discovering Jeff's addiction, that I wanted to rebuild our marriage. I turned to him and asked if he was serious about getting this out of his life, now, this was only about 2 weeks in.  I thought I could see all the materials layed out and had all intentions of completing that tower.  The tower that I saw was him overcoming his addiction.  And if he overcame his addiction surely our marriage would be recovered, I thought.  He said he was all in or '"haply" going to accomplish this.  And I believe that in that moment we both were.

Stuff happens, pain happens, doubt, fear, relapse, tears, heartache and then when I look at the tower, now as the one on the outside, I think..."I knew he couldn't do it anyway."  I went to my therapist, defeated at this point.  Just wanting him to tell me that it was ok, I had made my best effort, I had done all that God had asked me to do and I could leave the marriage and start a new life.  But that's not what he said.  He said, "Susan, you're putting too much faith in Jeff and not enough faith in Christ". 

I was looking at the tower all wrong.  The tower wasn't Jeff's recovery, my recovery or the recovery of our marriage, the tower was ME.  Those recoveries may be parts of my tower, but they are only elements of it.  Even after all I can do, I cannot complete that tower on my own.  Jesus Christ is the finisher.  Pslam 118:8-9 says: "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.  It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes".

Jesus Christ is the "author and finisher of (my) faith".  Paul taught this to the Hebrews. (Hebrews 12:2)  So what does that mean to me?  I go back to the desire to build the tower with Jeff.  My intent was not to stop midway and give up.  My intent was to see it through, but I didn't know what seeing it through meant.  My faith was in what I wanted it to become, not in what the Lord wants ME to become.  The tower will look much different in the end when I allow Christ to be the finisher.  It will be a better tower, better than any that I could design for myself. 

And to those who stand on the side and criticized instead of helped, I recognize that, "The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, or yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all." Ecclesiastes 9:11

Even though I don't know how to complete the tower, I have all the tools!  I have all the materials and where I fall short, the Finisher will come and He will help me and He will help you! Step 9 talks about this very thing.  It says,

"While we may not now be able to fully trust our loved ones, we can trust the Lord and His protection.  He helps us effectively cope with the many worries and fears we encounter.  He provides us with assurances through His Spirit that help us find peace and hope.  Nephi declared, 'O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever' (2 Nephi 4:34)".

The race is not to the Swift, Strong, Brave, Wise.  We can run this race "haply", completely intending to finish, and as we accept the help that is there and offer our support to others we will, "Run that (we) shall obtain"!  And friends, we're gonna make it!